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Little Office of Horrors

This plant has caused quite a stir in my Office Space-like environment. This is the Audrey II. Not really. But it has gained itself the reputation of instilling bad luck to everyone since its owner left the office to work for another job.  The lawyer that inhabited the new vacancy decided the plant could stay initially, that it was a nice addition to his new office with bigger windows and space. Within the first few weeks, his pictures fell. Luckily all his degrees with the prefix “Juris” and whatever fancy establishment thereafter stayed intact and there were no broken frames. But whatever logic and reason goes behind the law, and whatever focus went behind all those long nights studying in law school, it didn’t rule out the possibility of magic, a plant that can universally gather energy, in this case bad.  So the immediate eviction of this technically alive but otherwise inanimate object was inevitable.

There was an eager adopter in which this creature of God (arguably the Devil) could reside. It went to the file staff room, next to what I deem the happiest person in the office. She is a hard worker, she is positive and a lover of all things. Hard worker, meaning she barely screws up. Within days, she had messed up on a huge production for court. State of mind? Could the mere presence of the plant somehow produce seeds of failure in the mind? In which case that would be the fault of the owner, not the plant. As happy and hard working as she is, that was enough for her. It couldn’t stay.

Next stop was the office manager, solver of all problems, whose job is to keep the office running smoothly. She took the plant. Superstitious, she already was, but she took it, believing already this could be a problem.

Needless to say, within the first week it was there, she proclaimed she had gotten into several fights with partners, ones that she normally wouldn’t have had. Her computer had issues and her cabinet broke. This is not made up, these things happened.  It was gone by the end of the week.

It now sits in the billing office. The billing coordinator scoffs at our fears, refers to it mockingly as the “Juju” plant. He is not a believer in such things. I myself protested this, billing is the revenue for the firm. Billable hours for lawyers, if they don’t get paid, we don’t get paid. And I need my paycheck. It is now approaching two weeks that this plant is residing in his office. And I’ve heard nothing. If mysterious occurrences have happened, perhaps he is not reporting it as such. Just day to day mishaps. Perhaps because he is not a believer, that is “all the difference.”

I find it fascinating in this office, all the different personalities and all the different experiences of adulthood, we still find a way to believe in magic. I still do. That plant is not coming anywhere in my vicinity, that’s for sure. And I hope, no matter what happens, that I never stop believing.

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